Hum, I thought I would update the masses. I get my new meds tomorrow. Yay. I just want the summer to be here... I am trying to plan a trip to go see my mom and my friend barb, there are contraints though that are pretty annoying. I got to hang out with my old friend Jaime a few nights ago, that was so much fun, we used to hang out and cruise around almost every night my senior year. That was my best memory of high school, thank you for making is possible Jaime :-) I'll move to Ft. Collins with you if you really want me to. I have been designing a pretty cool hotel, or Lodge now, it rocks my socks. Anywho I'm going to get going here. Hasta
~Chris~

Hookah

So... I bought a hookah today. LOL it's sweet, i'll get a picture of it on here. Work is going alright... It kinda sucks but well, thats work. I need to clean my house, it's looking pretty gross. I have to get a new combo of meds from my specialist... Yay... I've been feeling those stupid thoughts of depression again... I wish sometimes I could just turn my fucking thought process off because damn, is it fucked up right now. I have so many problems. LOL I think I need to see my therapist alot more. Oh well, thank you to the people that have stuck by me. I love you all more then you will ever know.
~Chris~

Familiar Feelings...

I've been let down again... Big suprise. Execept this time i'm not mad. I learned awhile ago to expect nothing from people. So when i'm let down. It's not bad, it just confirms things I already know...

Happy 4/20 everyone. So i'm going up to Fort Collins and i'm going to hang with my friend Erica tonight, then Friday night i'm going to meet up with my friend Kai. It should be a fun time. I'm going to take friday off of work. I really have to get my oil changed today, so i'm going to force myself to go there this afternoon and get that stupid shit done... I'm getting new tires on my crap car the begining of may, so that should be fun. Gotta go. Hasta.
Chris

So thank god - if irony were made of strawberries, we'd be having a lot of smoothies right now - I finally got all of the Direct Bills sent out. I was starting to get scared that I would never get them sent out. Focus on the Family owes us like a million dollars LOL. This has been a good week. The only sucky thing is we are getting QA'd on monday, which allways sucks cause are GM is always jumping down everyones butt. I'm really lookin forward to seeing my friend Erica in Fort Collins on thurs/fri. I have not seen her in almost two years. But anywho, I am going to get going... Thank you for listening to my ramblings for the last two months! Going into my third month here.
Chris

Taxes

So thank god! I finaly got my confirmation that my taxes have been accepted by the IRS. I was starting to get scared there.

Ahhhh... :-) I feel better. My friend in foco added me as a friend on MySpace. But now I feel like a total ass for being angry at him... :-( I fucking hate being so parinoid all the time... I really really do. I have been talking with my doctor, and he is going to put me on some meds (yay some more!) that he said would help me. Other then that today was a good day. I forgot to take pics of my house though, so i'm going to try and do that tomorrow. And my oil! Holy crap I need to have my oil changed so yeah... wow I have to do that tomorrow LOL. Oh well. Love you all.
~Chris~

I fell asleep at work tonight-big surprise. The intresting part is where :-) but i'll take that to the grave lol. Yesterday was okay, I got alot around my house cleaned up, and my car is looking very nice if I say so myself. I have become addicted to this program called LimeWire. It's a file sharing program, and it's pretty darn nifty. Today though I really need to get my ass in gear and finish cleaning up my house. Next week I plan on visiting my friend Barb in wyoming for a few days to get away from it all. With how simple my life should be, it's very complicated lol. My sister and her boyfriend Matt bought a house a few weeks ago and lets just say, well... calling it a "fixer-upper" dosen't come even close. I'm very proud of her though :-) Well, I better go do some actual work I guess...
Chris

I just got off the phone and I feel much better :-) I have been talking for about an hour and a half with my friend Erica. I love reconnecting with good friends. I'm going up to visit her on the 20th and we are going to have fun. Today was an alright day as well. I cleaned out my car and matt is going to put some new tires on it around the 19th as well. I'm having my oil changed this morning so yay. I kinda hate my car, but at the same time i guess It's not so bad. I'm doing better anyway. Feeling much happier :-) But I should probably try and get some work done here lol.
Chris

Calm

Okay, so i'm a little bit calmer then I was friday. I've decided not to pass jugement about what happened on friday until I hear back from my friend, which I have yet to. There could be a hundred reasons why he didn't answer his phone, so yeah... Work is fucking boring as hell, big surprise huh. I don't like working during the night, because it just exagerates(sp?) my really boring life. I'm awake when no one is durring the night, so there is really no one to talk to then. I usualy sleep in the morning, so when I wake up in the afternoon, my few friends are all busy with school or work or what not so then these is no one to talk to durring the day either. I dunno, I really need a hobby that I can stick with. I'm going to try to see if I can order a fiberglass hull so I can build this model ship, I ordered the blueprints for it off of ebay (where else) and I just need the boat parts. I have often thought about photography as well though. I'm good at it, and I have a nice camera, I just need a battery for my camera but... eh to lazy. I used to (still do) love to ride my bike when the weather was really nice, so I think I might mosey on over to by dads and snag it. I'll proabably just go to palmer park or piddle around my neighboorhood if I do end up going. I'm supposed to go to lunch with my sister to day as kinda a "post-birthday" sorta thing because I couldn't make it to the party in Denver yesterday. So... yay. Well, i'm out, i'm tired and I need to get some work done before I fall asleep. Love you all!
~Chris~

Faster daddy, faster!!
Oh Neddy, can't you make this car move any any faster?!
I CAN'T! IT'S A GEO!!!
LMAO I love the simpson.
....Oh yeah, Happy birthday Lauren :-) I love you so much, i'm sorry I can't go to Dave an Busters with you. Thank you for always being there for me. ~Even though I drive a Geo lol
~Chris~

Worthless

Thats how I feel at the moment... I was supposed to meet a friend in Fort Collins for lunch today. I drove two hours in almost zero visability between Colo Spgs and Denver mostly, to get my ass there. I then proceeded to wait three hours. I called him four times, one on the hour, I arrived at noon, and one before I left at about three thirty I think. I have never had a person make me feel so inferior before, so utterly worthless... I cried the whole way back to Colo Spgs. I don't know what to do. I really just want to quit. Give up. But I can't. I dunno... I'm still waiting for a reply from my friend, I have yet for him to respond. Oh well, I have to get ready for work. Goodbye.
Chris

So I got my new phone today. I was really happy this afternoon after I got it... but I dunno, I'm so depressed right now and i'm not sure why. I dunno, I was so happy about the phone, but I dunno... There was almost no one I could call. It's one of the most unhappy times I can recall. I feel kinda unwanted by my friends. Or "friends" I guess. I dunno, I try to be a nice person, and I try to change, I try to be a fucking nice friend. But I dunno, Nothing. It's absolutly pointless. So tonight, i'll probably drive my piece of shit car all over fucking place. I'm out. Bye.
Chris

I'm Back!

Okay everyone i'm back :-) I'll have pics downloaded soon and a full paragraph later :-). I cut my foot though... that sucks :-(

Focus on the Family

So wow, I have procastinating(sp?) like way much with sending out the corporate bills. I have like 30 Focus on the Family ones right now, some dating back to february (yikes!). But, I finally started on the pile tonight and I must say i feel better. I ordered Brokeback Mountain from Amazon.com, and it will be here Wednesday. I freakin love amazon. Best place to buy anything hands down lol. I have a prime membership with them as well, so 1 day shipping is only $3.00! It's totally sweet. Well, peace out.
~Christopher~

OH MY GOD, OLD PEOPLE ARE DRIVING!!! lol I love south park. Work is so boring, I finished tonight at 12:27am. Now that's a record. I'm thinking I might take some pictures tomorrow, i'm not sure though.
Hasta

My Sisters birthday is in 8 days... I'm not quite sure what to get here. I get my new cell phone/number on thursday which I am so excited about. Also this month, I have decided to go see my friend barb in wyoming. I was also thinking of stopping through Fort Collins on the way up there and seeing some friends, maybe even spending the night at the Hilton there. Anywho, happy April Fools Day, I love all of you :-)