All the leaves are brown...

So... I finally sent the e-mail last night, here's hoping. I know he's not know for his speedy replys... so i'll just have to wait. I figured if I don't hear from him for a week... I'll give him a call next friday or saturday.
I drove around last night for about 2 1/2 hours, almost at the end of my drive, I parked in this spot and looked at the city lights for a while before finally finishing my drive. That feeling of helplessness(sp?) crept up on me again and I started crying. I felt really alone, I know I have friends, but at that moment, there wasn't a single person I could call and talk to :-(. I just wish that I hadn't fucked everything up with my friends and that there was still someone I could talk to and would listen to me. There wasn't a time too long ago when I had a lot of people I could of called but... oh well. I kinda wish I lived in a new city and could make new friends, but I dunno, I think I'm afraid to leave Colorado Springs. I'm afraid of change. One of the happier things was that I left a note of my friend Jaime's car. We used to do the craziest shit together at night. I still wish I was in contact with her, but I havn't actually spoke to jaime in quite a few months.
My favoriate place to drive at night is Mountain Shadows, it's a neighboorhood up north towards the Air Force Academy. I like it at night because of the views. It's so pretty up there, I kinda with I had lived there growing up... I would of liked the view. Oh well... I'm rambling so i'm gonig to stop. I'm setting up seeing a therapist through my work, so, that should work out well. But whoever is reading this... Thank you. I feel better now :-).